Beautiful
Defining beauty for ourselves requires diving deep into our personal beliefs, perceptions, and emotions. It’s about uncovering what we find truly beautiful—not just on the surface, but in the essence of things, people, and experiences. When we explore the why behind what we deem beautiful, we begin to understand that beauty is a reflection of our values, our desires, and ultimately, how we see ourselves and the world. It’s a journey of self-awareness, shaping not only our perception of beauty but of authenticity and love.
Now, onto the meat of things—let’s talk about what actually shapes our perception of beauty. First up: the media. It’s no secret that media is driven by what sells, and marketing thrives on studying human behavior, particularly our susceptibility to fear. Think about it—fear of being unwanted, rejected, or seen as less than. This is where marketing gets clever. It’s all about targeting the reptilian part of your brain—the primal area responsible for fear, survival, and yes, sexuality. When beauty standards are based on that fear-driven instinct, well, they’ve got you hooked. Ever wonder who sets these social standards? And why do we follow them without question?
Now, take a moment. What did your parents consider beautiful? And why? More importantly, do you even know what *you* consider beautiful? Have you ever stopped to question it?
Let’s dig deeper…
🎭 Emotion 🎶 Emotion 🎭
This leads us to emotion. Emotion births deep thought. The stronger you feel about something, the more vivid and intense it becomes. Think about when you found a lover to be stunning, but years later, they no longer appear as attractive. Sometimes, it’s a small detail that changes everything. Why is that? Or how about when someone holds power—suddenly, traits like a large nose or imperfections that might have bothered you in someone else seem irrelevant in the face of authority. Money can have a similar effect, altering our perception of someone's appearance. Faces that remind us of others can also shift how we perceive beauty. Why is that?
When we’re in love, even infatuated love, everything seems more beautiful. Even the mundane shines—trash seems prettier, the sun brighter, and we notice details we’d usually overlook. Our perspective broadens, our senses sharpen, and we see things in a wider spectrum. But here’s the thing—this is both environmental and personal. If you haven’t truly defined what beauty is for yourself, how can you know whether the emotions tied to what you find beautiful are really your own? Or are they someone else’s?
(Next, we'll dive into anxieties, phobias, and conditions that distort how people see themselves and their perception of beauty.)
Anxiety can significantly impact not only how people feel but also how they appear and perceive beauty. When we’re anxious, our bodies release **cortisol**, a stress hormone that can wreak havoc on the skin—causing dryness, redness, itching, and even accelerating the appearance of wrinkles and dullness. Anxiety can also lead to facial tingling or flushing, and stress can cause hair to gray or fall out prematurely. But it doesn’t stop there.
Anxiety can distort how we see ourselves, fueling body image dissatisfaction. This can snowball into disorders like social anxiety, panic disorder, or generalized anxiety disorder. People who struggle with body image concerns may feel embarrassed, ashamed, or worried about how others perceive their weight, height, or shape—distorting their entire sense of self-worth.
In today’s world, social media only amplifies these anxieties. It often promotes an idealized, filtered version of beauty, encouraging endless social comparison. Many people use social media to cover up features they consider unattractive, seeking validation in likes and comments. But here’s the catch—social media is a double-edged sword. For some, it can also foster self-acceptance and promote unique appearances. It’s all about how we choose to engage with it.
Imagine, for a moment, a child being told to put a filter on their picture at age 4, or younger, just to be “prettier” or “better.” Now imagine hearing that message over and over, in different ways: "Delete that, it's ugly," or "That one's better," or "I wish I looked like that." Those small moments add up. That child’s environment, coupled with ancestral fears and conditioning, will deeply shape their perception of beauty.
Mind
One condition that’s becoming more prevalent in this context is **Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD)**. This mental health condition leads people to obsess over perceived flaws in their appearance—flaws that are often invisible to others. BDD is most common in teens and young adults, though it can affect anyone. Beauty and mental health aren’t studied together nearly enough, but emotions profoundly influence how we see ourselves and others.
Take bipolar disorder, for example. It involves extreme shifts in mood and energy, from the highs of mania to the lows of depression. These emotional swings don’t just affect the mind—they affect the body. Depressive phases may lead to weight gain, not because the body is ugly, but because it’s struggling with the impact of the disorder. During manic phases, some people may go days without eating properly, further disrupting their health. It’s important to remember that beauty isn’t about these temporary changes; it’s about how we nurture ourselves overall.
Even medications and environment can shape our perception of beauty. You might find the lush landscapes of Hawaii stunning, but in a gritty part of town, there can still be hidden gems—unexpected pockets of beauty. So, what shapes your perception? Do you remember what you found beautiful as a child? Do you still feel the same way, or have your tastes evolved?
Most importantly—what is beautiful to you now? Are you, yourself, beautiful?
Be gentle with yourself. Take a day to really step outside and observe—what do you find beautiful? What feels beautiful to you? What makes you feel beautiful? And here’s the question: does something *need* to make you feel beautiful? Or do you rely on certain things to feel attractive, fit, or Instagram-ready? What are those things?
Now take it a step further—start by cultivating self-awareness. Ask yourself: what is truly essential for you? What do you need to feel beautiful, or even more importantly, to be beautiful in your own eyes? First, know yourself, then expand outward to understand how culture, environment, and aesthetics influence your perceptions.
We often crave "more"—but more what? That’s where the deeper exploration begins. Start to ask yourself why you feel this way. Why do certain things make you feel beautiful, and why do you think you need them? This is where the power of choice comes in—making healthier, more conscious choices about how you view yourself.
Beauty isn’t limited by gender. Whether you identify as male, female, and all , everyone has their own perception of beauty. Yet, so many of us worry about it that we overlook the most miraculous, grand, and beautiful thing right in front of us: our true selves, especially who we are right now in this moment.
You may trigger, offend, or intimidate others for countless reasons, and it has nothing to do with being "ugly" or "unattractive." Never assume or worry about what others think until you first honor what you think—what your mind and heart are telling you. Your true beauty lies there, in knowing and accepting yourself at this season of your life.
Here are some activities and ideas to cultivate a clearer perception of yourself and the world around you:
1. Mindful Observation: Take time to observe your surroundings without judgment. Notice the small details, the textures, colors, and sounds. Focus on being present in the moment and appreciating beauty in unexpected places.
2. Journaling: Write down your thoughts, especially about what you perceive as beautiful and why. Explore your feelings toward your appearance and your environment. This can reveal deep insights into your own conditioning.
3. Mirror Work: Spend a few minutes each day looking into the mirror, not to scrutinize your appearance, but to make eye contact with yourself. Ask yourself what you *truly* see and feel without judgment.
4. Meditation and Breathwork: Regular meditation helps quiet the mind and promotes a clearer, unbiased view of reality. Breathwork can ground you in your body and open you to deeper self-awareness.
5. Gratitude Practice: Start a daily practice of gratitude for your body and everything it does for you. Thank your skin, muscles, and organs for functioning and supporting you. This can shift your perspective on beauty from a purely external focus to one of appreciation.
6. Creative Expression: Engage in artistic activities that allow you to express yourself—painting, dancing, writing, etc. This can help you access a more intuitive, unfiltered perception of yourself and your surroundings.
7. Self-Reflection Walks: Go on walks without distractions, and allow your mind to wander. Think about your perceptions of beauty, life, and happiness. Nature can help you reconnect with your own sense of self and purpose.
8. Detox from Social Media: Take periodic breaks from social media to reduce comparison and give your mind space to cultivate its own ideas of beauty, free from external influences.
But let’s be clear—having a better perception doesn’t mean you can’t or won’t opt for cosmetic surgery, wear a weave, or dress however you like. Seeing things clearly doesn’t mean you’re obligated to make any specific choices. It just means you’re seeing through your own eyes, not someone else’s, not society’s, not a collective lens imposed on you. It means making decisions for yourself, free from external pressure or fear.
Maybe you don’t want to look deep into yourself right now. Maybe that’s not why you’re here. Maybe you’re here to meet everyone but yourself, or maybe—you are who you’ve been looking for all along.
It’s okay to feel conflicted. Maybe you think your feet are hideous, but someone else might pay you for pictures of them. Maybe you're not concerned with inner work at the moment, and that’s fine too. But even if you decide to play by others' rules—whether it's about appearance, success, or survival—you can still make clearer and better choices. Choices that bring you closer to lasting happiness.
Because real happiness doesn’t depend on temporary beauty. That kind of happiness—dependent on how others see you—is fleeting and incomplete. True happiness comes when you define yourself, when you accept all that you are and let go of the need for others’ validation.
You might realize that, despite the ridicule, despite the pressures, you’re moving toward a place of deeper self-acceptance. A place where the true you emerges—one that shines brighter, more authentically. This self might not be perfect, it might be scarred or tattered, but it’s real, and that makes it more beautiful than any superficial ideal.
Embarking on a journey of self-discovery often involves profound transformations. It's not uncommon to contemplate a complete reinvention of oneself, including altering one's physical appearance. This process can be liberating as it allows you to shed layers that no longer serve you and embrace a new identity that resonates with your true self.
While changing your external appearance may seem superficial to some, it can be a powerful expression of inner growth and authenticity. Ultimately, what truly matters is the alignment between your inner self, your Health, Mental as well as physical and your outer presentation. When you feel a deep sense of connection with your true essence, and when your physical, mental, and emotional well-being are in harmony, you are on the path to living a fulfilling life.
Remember, life is a magnificent journey filled with endless possibilities for self-exploration and personal growth. Embrace the process of self-transformation with courage and self-compassion, knowing that the most beautiful aspect of life lies in the discovery and expression of your authentic self.
True beauty is about clarity, not conformity. It's about embracing who you are and making choices that lead to a more lasting, independent, and radiant happiness. In that clarity, a truer, purer version of you shines through, and that’s where real beauty lives.
Welcome to a world of transformation and exploration!
In gratitude, I invite you to embark on a journey with me as we revamp our homepage this October, embracing change and growth. I am deeply thankful for the unwavering support of a few, and I am transitioning to offering Death Doula services on a contribution basis, ensuring accessibility while honoring my own balance and well-being.
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Thank you for being a part of this extraordinary voyage towards self-discovery and connection.
Next:
Weekend Recipe Edition 💪 this one will include some twists and turns and offer different types of recipes still with focus on yum and health.
Chaman series will continue with necromancy 🤸♀️tis almost October after all 🎃 Don't forget to subscribe and not miss a thing
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