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Sitting with our Trauma & some drops of love


I can not give you a way or advise for I am only an expert in my traumas, but I can not recommend enough the value of sitting with your trauma. Not just sitting with it once after a plant medicine experience or for a brief moment in therapy, no, I mean really sitting with it. Taking a journey through it to come out of it. We owe it to ourselves. I even remind people to do it repeatedly throughout their lives, doing some mental "soul checkups" when the balance is off. Once you sense the lack of balance and see the patterns, see your patterns and know deep inside that something isn't right. The signs vary. It's either a common thing that we keep attracting or we keep attracting the same broken people or partners who are just like the parents we thought we survived or rebelled against and overcame already. Whatever the signs, once you/we grow tired of going around in circles, it is prime time to take it easy on ourselves and take that first step into the journey through our traumas. Many things can be signs, just like there are people, there are situations and patterns. It can be something as simple as constantly changing gears, constantly moving or changing lines of work. Constantly seeking different adrenaline rushes, you may possibly put yourself in dangerous situations. Maybe being in a circle of friends with a lot of death or drama? It doesn't matter, you see, because we know and it is just a matter of finally taking that first step to accountability. Accountability for our lives. Being present and accounted for for ourselves Once that first step is taken, the wisdom that trauma holds within its core is priceless for us. I always say that 95% of the time, what people come to see me for is not what it is. It is good that they recognized something was off, but I must prepare them slowly for what's to come. A whole lot more, a whole lot more. Many self-help or alternative options want to sell you on the idea that you can heal your trauma for $19.99 or that you can do this plant medicine and it will all go away... promises. Promises they can not keep because that's just not how it works. The journey through trauma depends on us to be successful. There are tools, but we are the peaceful warriors that must go through them. Many times it's like a great big ball of Pele's hair. Pele's hair is made of super fine fiberglass and sharp dry lava. It can cut you and is hair-thin at times, but sharp like a surgical knife. You have these emotions that are like a ball of Pele's hair that we have to unravel. Then you have coiled up barbwire that you have to get through. The mind. It is a lot. The road through which the trauma travels can have side roads that lead to other traumas. Many are multiple-trauma people. Not victims. I don't use that term. It is very good to have support. But guess what, sometimes it isn't perfect. Sometimes your good friends are far away, or you have one good family member and the rest are useless. Sometimes people have big families or lots of friends, but when support is needed, they have just 1. Whatever support is around, have gratitude. You will need it. Express that you are new at this (setting boundaries with daries, setting time for yourself and taking mental health days), that it is all new to you. Express that you may say things wrong or not know what to do but that you appreciate their support and to please have patience. Having any support is good. Sometimes we only have one or two people, and that can be crucial to our success. By being patient and compassionate with ourselves, we ease up on the rigidity, tenseness, and stiffness of the mind and body. Flexibility is necessary because the road through trauma can have surprises. Many times, the reasons or things that people believe are their traumas are simply symptoms such as cuts, bumps, and bruises rather than the real deep, covered up, unhealed wound. But the knowledge we acquire along the way is priceless! It is as empowering as it is crushing. It is revelation after revelation of the self till we finally get to the one who came before the trauma. Can you? Yes. Yes, I believe you can. Get to that pure state. When your mind was clean before they all started writing on its walls, filling up your space, your head, with things that were not yours. The state before the trauma Perhaps to find out that there is one last trauma after that. When mindfulness kicks into high gear and the unraveling begins, breakthroughs occur, and "know thyself" becomes more than just a quote or a meme. A truth that is never-ending. You are your truth, victim, master, healer, and teacher. Nobody has ever calculated or determined what you are capable of. Only you can define or not define and determine that. I am here to recommend doing it however you like. I am not selling my way because I am of service, but my tools may not serve you. I am here to say, however, to gather your tools and support system because it is necessary. And your probability of succeeding will increase far more than if you "white-knuckle" it. (White knuckles are the result of trying with all your might to hold on when going through things alone.) There are endless therapies, pills, medications, plant medicine, breath, retreats, endless self-care, self-improvement books, and natural ways to help us get a little help, a boost in our healing, and that can assist on the road through trauma. It is wise to practice accepting that you are unique and that what helped one person may not help you. It can be hard and at times, because we live in a world with greed, you must be careful and trust your gut. Practicing that inner trust is good because it helps strengthen that connection to self more and more, plus it stretches those self-acceptance muscles. For example, there are many people who gravitate to Alcoholics Anonymous in order to help them stop drinking, but there are also many people who conquer an addiction to drinking who couldn't do it with A.A. Many people walked into a meeting and left completely dissatisfied. Many who explore different ways and then settle in and get going on to sobriety use other tools and methods. Trauma healing can be like that. Some people do amazing things with programs offered by MAPS combining MDMA and therapy; others do great with psilocybin and therapy; others with cannabis and meditation; or more complex shamanic options; others with therapy and medication; others with prayer and mantras; others by being of service; and others with their own combination of things. The most important thing to remember is that you have options and choices that you can make to make your journey through trauma less painful. Finding the right space where you can open up is key. Finding the right practitioner or facilitator, especially if you are going to open up to this person with your darkest pieces, is clearly important. Some forget to trust their gut on this one, and lack of self-trust can be a part of trauma, but it is also one of the first things to start respectfully being mindful of. Respectfully towards yourself, mindful and compassionate listening to yourself more and more is definitely part of the healing. So listen to yourself. If you are told wonders about a healer or therapist/practitioner but you do not feel comfortable, don't resonate, feel that you can't follow this person's lead, or simply disagree with some of the reasons for the methods or things they want you to do, etc., and you are not satisfied with your experience, remember that it is OK. Maybe you just end up not liking them. That's OK. We can not truly open up if the environment doesn't nurture you in a way you can receive and serve you. The environment and therapist or guru can be great for others, but it doesn't "have" to fit you. I didn't want to dive too deeply into this therapy or that method of healing etc. in this piece because this is more about recommending the very first step of wanting to take that journey. If you are reading this and have been looking for confirmation, well, there ya go! How you go about your journey is not something that has to be complicated. Explore and choose from the heart what you resonate with, what you feel comfortable with, and yes, what you can enjoy. But do choose something or some way to begin your journey, because by doing nothing, you really don't realize how much you are missing. Above all, remember that any time in your life is a great time and season to begin owning your own path, life, practice, and healing. How you personally feel about things is important. Nobody else can truly comprehend or be expected to comprehend how you feel if you cannot. Maybe we don't exactly know how we are feeling, but acknowledging that truth is a good starting point. Ignoring and not acknowledging your own feelings keeps you stuck in the trauma rather than on the path out of it. That is enough about the various tools available because you and I both know that the self-improvement and spirituality industry is thriving. What I want to expand on is the value of sitting with your trauma as long as is necessary because what you come up with is simply indescribable. From what I have witnessed in others and within, there has definitely been far too much for mere words. Therefore, I will expand on it by describing a few of the twists and turns. You see, trauma can help us see how much guilt we are or have been carrying but also how that guilt has affected and seeped into so many other parts of our lives, including but not limited to: our daily decision making, the amount of love we believe we should receive, our vocabulary, be it defensive or lacking confidence, our ability to receive success and so much more. Tapping into those things takes acceptance and can hurt, but the liberation from guilt can take us into a whole new state of being on so many levels. In some cases, there is a deep suppressed sadness that also seeps into our ability to receive and allow happiness to overflow. When the trauma is not resolved, at times, people get to a certain point of happiness and self-sabotage, always at that certain point, be it in relationships or work. They just can't get past a certain level. By carrying that suppressed sadness to a level we ourselves determine is enough, there is no more room for more. There can also be an attachment to that sadness, so over the years it becomes part of the identity and is harder to perceive and let go of. Going through the trauma puts us face to face with it. By giving those examples, I just wanted to share that surprises do come along with the journey. There is a bearing of the soul. An unveiling and different levels within the journey take us through some very hard, yet powerful realizations. Some people feel sad when they think about how things would have or could have been different if they had realized sooner how that trauma or those traumas not only changed them but also influenced who they became. That can take us to the next level of acceptance, forgiveness, and greater expansion, but may still sting a bit. I like to give it to you straight, not watered-down. It can be hard to see and accept how the trauma affected so much more, from speech to decision-making and how they saw and accepted love or anything from others. That can make some feel as if they missed out on who they truly are. That's OK. Grieving is a big part of trauma resolution and release. Grieving who you were, what could have been different etc. And above all, at the end, there can be grief because we must let go of who we were, victim and all, in order to step into the shoes of the victor! The body and mind of the person who emerges from the fire, leaving the ashes of the past behind ... There may be a lot of trauma resolution, and yet at the end, people may not be able to fully accept the fact that they are still standing and that they did make it through. This happens at times, and it causes people to begin going back to old habits, old patterns, and old perceptions, and they begin spiraling back down. Be ready for this and it will serve you well to keep yourself in check as well as your ego. Many times, it is because the ego kicks in and people stop therapy, believing that they can take it from there or start doing good and stop the mindfulness, medications, or meditation. Once again, ego kicks in, and they take a step back, repeating an old pattern. listening to the temporal, ever changing ego instead of their hearts with love for the self first. Surprises can come right at the very end of that journey through trauma. There can be a fall right before the crowning moment. Stepping out of the victim's shoes, out of the traumatized person's shoes, Stepping into the shoes of a humble, peaceful warrior who has overcome can be difficult. Which is one of the big surprises at the end for people, and that's OK too. It just means that perhaps you are not done yet and there may be one last thing to heal. I wanted to share that no matter how long it takes, how many surprises, what way you go about it, no matter what background or path or belief system you have, you owe it to yourself to take that journey. You owe it to yourself to come out of that inner fire reborn, reborn, and victorious. You will have to go from action to non-action. Don't take action and be devoted to yourself on a very deep level. It will expand you. It may hurt a little, but our freedom and living as who and what we truly are is priceless and also our birthright.



I can not recommend enough the value of sitting with your trauma. Many blessings and courage to all of us. Many blessings and courage to all of us. Your faithful servant

Shakti

Devi MEA art & Chillosophy

Shaktidurgahealingarts Shaman Artist Tantric Entity Nothing Noone you all in one





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