An actor said it in a cool way.
"Men fall in love with what they are attracted to, women are attracted with what they love.
Who they love.
A man becomes more and more attractive to a woman as she cares about him more. It is natural. The mother nature, the nurturing one even if in this embodiment she is not very nurturing it is still part of her essence, also natural because a woman is often more protective than a man of not just that which she loves like a lioness but also from another perspective ~She falls in love she sees the person one way and that way is not how others see him but she guards that person and even makes him out to be more attractive than he they is.
Men will stay and take abuse and pay for this or that because she is so hot.
Not in a mature serious evolved relationship but in the average power struggle couple.
There are jokes about
Why did you stay so long?
Reply being * for the sex
Or she was hot beautiful girl but .....
There are memes showing the woman with a V plunge and boobs all over and they read
"I was going to break up with her but then she wore this..."
I mean boobs make you happy but how much do you sacrifice for the little done and enjoyed of them.
So.
Both energies attract at different levels, not always but in general.
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Or a woman will be like a man and fall in love with what she who she is attracted to and it will be very temporal if based on looks but by the time the looks fade that relationship better be good because it won't survive the Sag.
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A woman based on her love, will many times reveal parts of herself that a man "wishes to see"
~instead of revealing parts of herself she is shameless about and wants to share.
The basics of how a woman's essence swirls into this is fun.
Just like the Masculine the feminine has her essential unique traits. Whether dormant or not they are there. A wild woman will be a great mother wolf and so on. She will also have like the masculine her own turn ons, her own unique:
Trauma
Past experiences
Expectations if not beyond that
Cultural
ancestral
Religious ties
Health
Bio chemical composition
Nutritional history
Stress levels
And other elements such as karma and then some.
Depending on anxiety, stress and cultural backgrounds some women may have a hard time with the orgasm out of guilt or in having been raised to abstain even when being sexually active they still will hold themselves back without being aware of that which they want.
Others hold back the orgasm in a show of power if involved in relationship power struggles.
By doing so hurting themselves and depriving themselves of amazing pleasures.
Just like for many men, the orgasm gets lost in the mind for many women as well
In the MIND.
Women can have many different types of orgasms and explore their bodies with as much freedom as a man.
Freedom as in
Freedom of the conditioned MIND.
I wanted to include this because I recommend exploring the basics of energy within yourself first and then perhaps together but individually and then fully interactive! But you must release your own shame, guilt, programming, no one can do it for you.
Having a loving carefree partner outside of the control insecurities of the program helps, of course!
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"Reestablishing our connection with our desire is part of recovering our personal power. Once you have awakened your passion, or sexual energy, the Healing Love practices, as taught by world-renowned Taoist master, Mantak Chia, can teach you how to direct and refine your sexual energy so that you can benefit from its gifts. Though our modern world suffers from ignorance about sexuality on the one hand and blatant exploitation of sexuality on the other, Healing Love offers several-thousand-year-old wisdom about how to live in our bodies as sexual beings and to use our passion to become the people we want to be.
In The Multi-Orgasmic Woman, you can learn to use your concentration and your breath to activate and move your energy; this practice is called Chi Kung. It involves both concentration exercises and simple movements to facilitate the flow of chi. Used throughout China and now widely practiced in the United States, Chi Kung is an ancient and effective practice for many health issues. I often refer to the Healing Love sexual practice as "Chi Kung for the bedroom."
Once you become aware of your chi, you'll find that it's rather easy to notice and feel it. Try this simple exercise. Briskly rub your palms together until you produce heat. Now slowly separate your palms until they are about an inch apart. You should feel a "cushion" of air between them that may feel like pressure, heat, or tingling. This sensation is the chi passing between your hands.
In all traditions meditative practices calm and focus the mind. The Healing Tao meditative practices do this by focusing on the movement of chi. The basic practice is based on circulating chi through a body circuit called the Microcosmic Orbit, which is like an energy superhighway in the body. The Microcosmic Orbit runs from your tailbone up your spine to your brain (the Back Channel) and then returns down the front of your body in the midline (the Front Channel). By using the focus of your mind, you can direct the chi up the spine as you breathe in and let it "fall" down the Front Channel to your abdomen as you breathe out.
As you become adept at sensing and moving your chi, you will also be able to move your sexual energy, or jing chi, in the same pathway. The ability to expand and move your sexual energy is what allows you to increase your pleasure and intensify your orgasms, no matter what your current level of sexual experience is. It also allows you to transform your sexual energy into chi, or life force, which will give you a great deal more energy out of the bedroom as you live your life in the world. And when your chi is strong and your intention is clear, your chi is transformed into spiritual energy or shen.
The Healing Love practices are rich and powerful enough to do for hours each day, but flexible enough to energize you or help relieve physical or emotional stress in minutes. The sexual practices initially take some time to understand and feel in your body, but they can then be seamlessly integrated into lovemaking with astounding results: more pleasure, intimacy, and vibrancy than you've ever experienced. The Taoist practice offers a practical method to access and integrate the two most powerful healing forces in the world: real love and sexual energy. These practices can increase your pleasure and invigorate your body and soul." Verywellhealth.com
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As women we too can circulate our energy and cultivate it as well as use it till no end. Express to partners that
feeling pressure to have an orgasm, or a certain type of orgasm at a certain time, can make sex stressful and unpleasant. Be open with yourself.
Men complain about their own performance stress and insecurities but they definitely deliver to partners that which they themselves dislike.
Allow yourself to express yourself mind, body and soul. If the person doesn't get it at least you have gone deeper and revealed more about your partner.
Also be strong and stand your ground. Once you know your energy, whether you are cerebral,visual, auditory as well as what gets ya body wise.
Clitoral stimulation, penetration, shallow or deep or intervals, full body stimulation (kissing for long periods of time! Massaging the breasts, inner thigh kissing, under the butt cheek massage, rubbing etc).
Or do you like vaginal stimulation with variety?
Women are all different. Accept yourself.
~Some studies have found that people can experience orgasm through stimulation of the mouth, nipples, breasts, anus, and skin surrounding an injury.~
Stop comparing yourself or your orgasms. Comparison limits your true power and beauty.
Instead of comparing or limiting yourself explore intensity, pressure, exercise and work on your temple for yourself not another ( get your ass how you like it, your weight to where you like it, your style how you can express yourself and so on).
It is not anyone's job to make you feel better about your body at all.
And having goals of getting a body like other women is ridiculous. We all have different bodies so it isn't logical.
It also is not logical to attempt to look like an altered mag media photo that even the models themselves complain about.
Instead of comparing and complicating your life explore and experience yourself. Explore and experience sex, intimacy on your terms.
Explore fetish or links and know it's ok for something to satisfy and please today but not tomorrow.
What turned you on at 20 may not at 30 and what turned you on at 40 may not at 50.
Who cares?
Move on to the next set of turn ons.
Be fearless but always remember it is your orgasm.
This is life
You bring your own orgasm know thyself, know how you vibe when you cum.
And remember there are oh so many types of orgasms.
Allow yourself to explore and feel them all.
Set your boundaries
If you don't want someone spitting on it say it! Lol!
If you don't want to teach a lover forever don't hop on and then say he sucks and you are settling.
If you don't like teaching don't sign up for it.
If something doesn't please you explore other ways of allowing your partner to do something he enjoys but your way.
Explore being dominant and submissive knowing it is about you because if you do not enjoy something why do it. And if you don't like it &
Aren't orgasming then
Go deeper
Why are you doing it?
Explore your sexual experiences
Where are you coming from?
Let go of what doesn't suit you in sex too.
Allow yourself the freedom to not know, explore and experience yourself.
Sexual liberation requires self love
In order to be liberated to experience sex on your own healthy more fulfilling terms with deep overflowing pleasure from the well of abundance within.
Here is a brain fun link
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-power-pleasure/201212/different-types-female-orgasm-the-debate-continues